Do you feel like your relationship has lost its magical spark? Don’t worry; you’re not the only one. In fact, this is a common problem that people in long-term relationships experience. The good news is that there are a lot of ways to reignite the dwindling flame. Here are five practical tips to help you reconnect with your partner.
1. Is it you?
If you feel that your relationship has become stale, take a step back and think for a minute, could it be that you’re feeling bored or frustrated with something else and blaming it on your relationship? Make sure that you are happy with yourself first before making a snap judgement.
2. Communicate positively
Effective communication is essential, and it’s about more than just the words you say and how you say them; body language also plays a significant role when you talk to your partner, particularly during a disagreement. Incorporate positive body language such as keeping eye contact; an open, relaxed facial expression and arms hanging relaxed at your sides. In addition, use ‘I’ rather than ‘you’ statements, which can escalate the disagreement because they imply blame on the other person. Always speak as kindly as possible to each other.
3. Be open about how you’re feeling
Your partner isn’t a mind reader. Tell him how you’re feeling because they may have no idea that you’re experiencing these emotions. However, it would help if you were tactful; blatantly saying ‘I’m bored with our relationship’ won’t resolve anything. Instead, explain that you sense things aren’t going as smoothly as they did in the past and suggest that it would be exciting to do something new.
4. Keep the fire burning in the bedroom
If your feelings stem from a deteriorating or non-existent sex life, it’s time to turn up the heat in the bedroom. Only ‘going through the motions’ won’t cut it anymore. Be spontaneous, try new positions, have sex at a different time or perhaps incorporate toys into your sex life. The aim is to break the routine to find new, fun ways to rekindle the special intimacy that you have with your partner. Please make sure that you practice safe sex at all times by using contraception. Failure to use protection can result in the transference of STIs as well as unintended pregnancies. If you do become pregnant and wish to terminate, we offer safe abortion services that are performed by medical professionals.
5. Plan something together
When was the last time you and your partner travelled or went on a date? Take that trip that you’ve been talking about for years. Sitting down and planning a trip or activity is a bonding experience right from the get-go. So, get Googling to find the perfect beach holiday destination or search for restaurants (and cuisine) you’ve never experienced before. The act of planning enhances the comforting sense of companionship.
How Marie Stopes can help you
Marie Stopes offers a host of women’s wellness services, including HIV and STI testing as well as contraceptive counselling, to help you find a method that suits you.
Find your nearest Marie Stopes centre and make an appointment online.