If your guy struggles to last in bed, you’ll be relieved to know you’re not alone in your frustration: premature ejaculation is the most common sexual disorder in men under 40.
But not completely relieved, obviously. After all, premature ejaculation is often equally disheartening for both partners. When your guy comes too quickly, that can leave you feeling unsatisfied and frustrated. Even if he helps you finish the job by other means, you may both wish it didn’t have to be like that. If this is the case, here are five things you can do to help him last longer in bed.
5 tips to help stop premature ejaculation before it ruins your sex life
- Let him get it out of his system first. If you know you’re going to be having sex, try to encourage him to masturbate a few hours beforehand. Ejaculating a short while before having partner sex makes it more difficult for a man to come quickly. Start with some slow and intimate foreplay and build his excitement, and then let him catch up with you as you get closer and closer.
- Change up your positions. If you stick to the same kind of sex every time, your man’s brain (and body) gets to know the routine, making ejaculation quicker as he’s anticipating it. So try new positions, new locations, anything new for that matter. Anything out of the ordinary will distract him from his ingrained routine and stave off ejaculation for a bit longer. Aim for things that are as new, unfamiliar or tricky as possible.
- Heard of edging? Edging is when you bring him close to orgasm, and then make him stop. Do nothing for about a minute, and let him ‘cool down’ a bit before continuing. According to researchers, every person has an ‘ejaculatory inevitability’, which is the point at which they’re about to orgasm, and nothing you do will stop it. However, edging trains a guy’s body to delay that point, enabling him to spend more time ‘on the edge’ before coming, and therefore, more time pleasing you.
- Go again. Up for another round? Go for it! Once a man has ejaculated, it’s harder for him to come again too quickly (as we discussed above). If you have sex and he orgasms too fast, give him a few minutes and then go at it again. It’s likely that this time round, he’ll take a lot longer, which means there’s more time to focus on you, and you’ll have a better chance of reaching the finish line together.
- Choose thicker condoms. You should be using condoms every time you have sex, not only to protect against unplanned pregnancy but also against STIs and HIV. If you aren’t already using condoms, start right now. This could go a long way towards helping the problem, as it will slow the sensations for him to some degree, plus it puts you in a safer position. If you’re already wrapping up, opt for a thicker variety of condom. Never “double wrap”: using more than one condom can lead to them coming off or getting lost inside your vagina. Not something you want to have to worry about!
For contraceptives and more, pop into your nearest Marie Stopes
Whether you need contraceptive advice, help with improving your intimate relationships, or a range of sexual healthcare services, we can help. Find your nearest Marie Stopes centre and make an appointment online.
Latest posts by Marie Stopes South Africa (see all)
- HIV, AIDS and STIs…explained - March 26, 2019
- Celebrating Human Rights Day – Challenging the status-quo - March 21, 2019
- Dangers of drinking alcohol when you’re pregnant - March 12, 2019