When last did you meet someone who isn’t on social media? These days, practically everyone is using social networks, be it Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Instagram or many others. It’s great for connecting with friends and loved ones, and for sharing all those loved-up pics of you and your mate. But what happens when you go through a breakup, and it’s time to detangle your life from your ex’s – both IRL (in real life) and online?
Breaking up is usually pretty painful, but these days, having to contend with your ex’s social media presence – plus all your interconnected friends and social ties – makes it even harder. In the past, breakups usually meant that you never saw the person again, but thanks to social media, it’s all about online ‘warfare’: calculated posts to show you’re doing fine, and even espionage by your friends (or frenemies!).
If you’re struggling to cut the online connection, this advice can help.
5 breaking up tips for social media
- Go one week social media free. That means no stalking your ex, no self-pitying statuses, and no posting photos of yourself looking fake-happy. Sure it’s difficult, but silence is your best and most powerful weapon. Plus, it’ll ensure you don’t post something you’ll regret, which is very easy to do when you’re hurt.
- Avoid being passive aggressive. Using your Facebook statuses or tweets to get revenge, hurt someone’s feeling or as an attempt to make someone jealous only reflects badly on you and makes you look bitter. Be the bigger person, and even if your ex is stooping to that level, rise above it. Simply put: stay classy.
- Get over oversharing. Stop and think about how many people could potentially be reading your posts. Do you really want the world to know all your private business? Rather confide in a trusted friend or family member. Work out your anger by exercising or channelling the energy into something creative or constructive.
- Click to disconnect from your ex.Hitting the ‘unfriend’ button can be as difficult as the breakup itself, but resist the urge to stay friends online. Why torture yourself with updates about your ex’s life – or worse, their love life? It’s only going to cause you more heartache and prevent you from moving on. Unless you want to spend your days feeling anguished and vengeful, unfollow and unfriend your ex on all social media platforms. It’s essential to making a clean break and moving on.
- Don’t act impulsively by deleting photos and posts.In the days immediately following your breakup, you might feel the urge to delete all social traces of your relationship, but try to hold off. Not only will it look like sour grapes, but you might regret destroying memories of things you enjoyed – even if they included your ex. When you’ve moved on and you’re in a new relationship, feel free to remove posts and photos. But think about saving them on your PC. Life is all about making memories, and once the hurt and anger has subsided, you might be glad you kept mementoes of your past – or your past mistakes!
Our #1 breaking up tip
If you think it’s hard to break up with your ex when you’re connected via social media, just imagine how hard it is when you’re connected through a child.
That’s why it’s a smart idea to use contraception every time you have sex. Unless you’re in a fully committed, monogamous relationship and you actively want a baby together, you need to use dual protection every time you have sex. The only thing more difficult than dealing with an unwanted pregnancy – or an STI – is having to simultaneously deal with a terrible breakup. And while we’re talking about safe sex, check out this cool post on safe sexting, another hot topic for the tech-savvy.
Pop into your nearest Marie Stopes centre for non-judgemental contraceptive advice. We’ll help you find the most convenient method to suit your lifestyle so that you can carry on enjoying life without worrying – and, hopefully, without painful breakups!
Latest posts by Marie Stopes South Africa (see all)
- HIV, AIDS and STIs…explained - March 26, 2019
- Celebrating Human Rights Day – Challenging the status-quo - March 21, 2019
- Dangers of drinking alcohol when you’re pregnant - March 12, 2019