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Anal sex foreplay tips for beginners

May 17, 2017 by Marie Stopes South Africa Leave a Comment

Anal sex foreplay tips for beginners

You’ve probably heard some hectic stories from friends about anal sex, which means that even if you’re wanting to try it, you’re probably pretty nervous (even without the hectic stories, that’s normal though).

But anal can actually be really enjoyable if you know what you’re doing. Keep in mind though that it’s considered an ‘advanced’ sex move, so it should only be attempted with someone you trust completely and are super comfortable with. Ideally, someone you’ve already had loads of sex with, and with whom you can communicate freely and easily.

Before you get down to main event, foreplay is absolutely key. Going straight for penetration can result in discomfort and even pain. So, with that in mind, we’re looking at five things you can do to enhance backdoor foreplay to make the whole experience more enjoyable.

1. Load up on lube

Unlike the the vagina, the anus isn’t self lubricating, so you need to help things along. Invest in a good quality water-based lube, then smear it generously all over yourself, your partner, and any toys you may be using. The more lube, the better.

2.Don’t dive straight in

Get your partner to stimulate you externally first, by gently massaging the outside of your anus. Start as slowly as you like, and stop the minute you feel weird or uncomfortable. Full penetration needs to be built up to very, very slowly.

3.Protect yourself up front

STIs and HIV can be spread during foreplay as well as intercourse, so make sure that you start by putting on condoms right away, before you even begin with foreplay. Tears and abrasions are more likely with anal than other kinds of sex, because the skin is very thin and delicate, and prone to injury.

4.Pick your position

If you’ve ever watched porn, you’ll know that doggie style is the position most often used for anal, but porn is not real life, and doggie style is far from the only position you can use. Some people like missionary, others prefer a ‘spooning’ position. Move around and do what feels right for you.

5.Play with your toys

A penis is a relatively large thing to insert into an anus, particular one that’s not accustomed to penetration, so start smaller. Choose a few small sex toys or let your partner use their fingers. Just make sure everything you stick inside an anus – be it a body part or a toy – is properly clean and sterilised beforehand, and that you never cross-contaminate by inserting it into the anus and then into the vagina. Always wash toys and body parts after they’ve been in or near the anus, and never go straight from anal to vaginal penetration.

Bonus tip: Read our guide, Anal sex tips for your first time.

Get contraceptives, STI screening and more at Marie Stopes

The better protected you are during anal sex, the more you’ll be able to relax, have fun and enjoy the experience. Play it safe – visit your nearest Marie Stopes for HIV and STI screening, contraceptive advice and more.

Find your nearest Marie Stopes centre and make an appointment online.

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Marie Stopes South Africa

Marie Stopes South Africa

Global leaders in sexual and reproductive healthcare. We have been helping women and men lead happier, healthier sexual lives since 1993.
Marie Stopes South Africa

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More Information

Quick Facts

Effectiveness

No method works 100% of the time. Think about how important it is for you to prevent pregnancy. Keep reading…

Most Effective

Sterilisation: If you know for sure that you don't want any more children this can be good. Implants: Last for 3 years. Just remember to replace after 3 years! IUD: Many people like it cause once it's in, it works for 5 years. You can ask for one without hormones if you want. (But remember condoms to protect against infection!)

Some Methods 1

For injectables to work, a woman must get a repeat injection ON TIME. Pills must be taken about the same time every day.

Some Methods 2

Male condoms and sterilisation depend on the man. He also has to cooperate to use the female condom. Nice thing about condoms: they protect against pregnancy AND infection. Safe!

Seriously Not Safe

Some people think that it's OK for the man to pull out of the vagina before he comes. NO! There can be sperm in the fluid that comes out before he comes – leading to pregnancy or infection.

Get Help

If you think you may be pregnant, DO A PREGNANCY TEST AS SOON AS POSSIBLE – you can get these tests from the pharmacy or your clinic or doctor. If you have an unwanted pregnancy, the sooner you know, the better you can be helped to choose what to do.

There are lots of government clinics that give free family planning. Look in the phone book or call a local clinic to find the closest one. Marie Stopes are South African government-approved reproductive health clinics.

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More on Abortion

About TOP’s

It is legal for women of any age to have an abortion in South Africa. No parental or partner permission is needed. It is your body and your decision to end or keep the pregnancy … nobody can force you. It is very important to go to a registered, legal facility. There are many people who advertise abortion services, but many are not legal and having a ‘backstreet abortion’ could be dangerous to your health and life.

Know Your Rights

Any woman can ask for an abortion in the first three months (12 weeks) of pregnancy. If you are three to five months (13-20 weeks) pregnant, an abortion can be performed under certain circumstances. It is very important to act quickly, the earlier you seek help the better.

Where to go

You can visit your doctor who will refer you to an appropriate facility and a consultation fee will be charged. You can go to a private organisation such as Marie Stopes where there will be also be a charge. Some government facilities offer abortions for free, see link below for a list of local government facilities which offer the service.

Abortion Methods

Medical abortion: Tablets to end an early pregnancy can be taken up until the 9th week of pregnancy. You will be given pills to take at the clinic and to take at home. It will cause you to bleed like a period, but it might be heavier than your normal period.

Surgical abortion: The pregnancy is removed whilst you are at the facility, typically through vacuum aspiration.

Importance of Knowing

It is important to know how many weeks pregnant you are as this will affect the type of abortion method available to you. For instance:

  • Medical abortions (pills) are only available if you are less than 64 days (up to 9 weeks) pregnant
  • Manual vacuum aspiration (MVA) is a surgical abortion procedure that can be done up to 3 months (12 weeks) of pregnancy
  • For pregnancies over 3 months (12 weeks) medical or surgical procedures can be performed under certain circumstances.

Future Plans

If the abortion is done by a legal provider at a legal facility, problems after the procedure are rare. A trained counsellor will discuss your options and advise you on which family planning methods are suitable for you.

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