You’ve probably heard some hectic stories from friends about anal sex, which means that even if you’re wanting to try it, you’re probably pretty nervous (even without the hectic stories, that’s normal though).
But anal can actually be really enjoyable if you know what you’re doing. Keep in mind though that it’s considered an ‘advanced’ sex move, so it should only be attempted with someone you trust completely and are super comfortable with. Ideally, someone you’ve already had loads of sex with, and with whom you can communicate freely and easily.
Before you get down to main event, foreplay is absolutely key. Going straight for penetration can result in discomfort and even pain. So, with that in mind, we’re looking at five things you can do to enhance backdoor foreplay to make the whole experience more enjoyable.
1. Load up on lube
Unlike the the vagina, the anus isn’t self lubricating, so you need to help things along. Invest in a good quality water-based lube, then smear it generously all over yourself, your partner, and any toys you may be using. The more lube, the better.
2.Don’t dive straight in
Get your partner to stimulate you externally first, by gently massaging the outside of your anus. Start as slowly as you like, and stop the minute you feel weird or uncomfortable. Full penetration needs to be built up to very, very slowly.
3.Protect yourself up front
STIs and HIV can be spread during foreplay as well as intercourse, so make sure that you start by putting on condoms right away, before you even begin with foreplay. Tears and abrasions are more likely with anal than other kinds of sex, because the skin is very thin and delicate, and prone to injury.
4.Pick your position
If you’ve ever watched porn, you’ll know that doggie style is the position most often used for anal, but porn is not real life, and doggie style is far from the only position you can use. Some people like missionary, others prefer a ‘spooning’ position. Move around and do what feels right for you.
5.Play with your toys
A penis is a relatively large thing to insert into an anus, particular one that’s not accustomed to penetration, so start smaller. Choose a few small sex toys or let your partner use their fingers. Just make sure everything you stick inside an anus – be it a body part or a toy – is properly clean and sterilised beforehand, and that you never cross-contaminate by inserting it into the anus and then into the vagina. Always wash toys and body parts after they’ve been in or near the anus, and never go straight from anal to vaginal penetration.
Bonus tip: Read our guide, Anal sex tips for your first time.
Get contraceptives, STI screening and more at Marie Stopes
The better protected you are during anal sex, the more you’ll be able to relax, have fun and enjoy the experience. Play it safe – visit your nearest Marie Stopes for HIV and STI screening, contraceptive advice and more.