Ladies, it’s time to take control of your big O! These tips will help empower you to have stronger, more frequent and more satisfying climaxes, whether you’re playing with your partner or flying solo.
Proven ways to have better orgasms
- Fantasise during sex. Thinking about something steamy while you’re getting it on can have a powerful impact on your orgasm. And no – having erotic thoughts about other people, even while you’re having sex with your partner, is not cheating. Let your creative juices flow!
- Kill the lights. If having sex with the lights on makes you body-conscious, switch them off! Make sure that you feel super comfortable before you get busy, otherwise your mind won’t allow you to relax enough to enjoy a big – or even little – O. Make sure your phone is on silent too. Nothing like an ill-timed call to crush your vibe.
- Go deep. A vast majority of women aren’t able to climax during penetrative sex alone, but you can improve your odds of orgasms during P-in-V intercourse by getting on top or doing it doggie-style. Both these positions facilitate deeper penetration for better access to your G-spot.
- Go down. Not you – your partner. If you struggle to climax during penetrative sex but would like to, get your partner to go down on you until you’re about to climax, and only then enter you.
- Don’t overthink it. Let your imagination run wild – but not with anxieties. If you’re stressed about achieving an orgasm, you probably won’t. So revisit the first point: fantasise about the things that get you hot, and push all other thoughts out of your head.
- Take matters into your own hands. Whether or not your partner is trying their best to help you orgasm, the reality is that you’ll probably need to help yourself out if you want to get there. Sometimes, two hands are better than one: your partner’s, and yours. Don’t be afraid to dive in and give your partner – and more specifically, yourself – a hand.
- Wetter? Better! It’s impossible to orgasm when you’re chafing like nobody’s business, so use lube. Lots and lots of lube. Choose a water-based one and pick a flavoured variety if you like. Just make sure you use it! The more lubricated you are, the more enjoyable sex will be. And the more fun you’re having, the better your chances of hitting your peak.
- Stop rushing. Ironically, anxiety around sex and achieving an orgasm is the number one barrier to a great climax. Fretting that you’re taking too long (women take an average of 20 minutes to orgasm, but it could be longer), stressing about how you smell or worrying about how your body looks are an orgasm’s worst enemies. Slow down, relax and be in the moment. If your mind isn’t fully focused on sex (or on the fantasies you need to climax), you’ll always be fighting a losing battle.
Have a specific sexual healthcare concern or question? We can help.
At Marie Stopes, we offer a wide range of sexual health care services, from contraceptive advice to women’s wellness check-ups, pap smears, STI testing and more. We can help put your mind at ease so that you feel more confident next time you’re getting down.